Improving Your Relationship
Create Intimacy
1. Lie down on the bed and spend two minutes looking into each other's eyes without saying anything. (Blinking is OK.)
2. Next time you're in bed pull the covers over your head and have a whispered conversation. If you whisper first he'll probably whisper back—it's incredibly intimate.
3. Listen to each other. Think you already do that? Try active listening. Ask your partner to talk about something, and after each sentence (or paragraph) repeat what you heard. Start with, "I heard..." You don't have to repeat back the words verbatim, just say what you think she said. If you misinterpret or leave out anything, your partner will correct you. Take turns doing this. It's great for intense discussions, arguments, or just a weekly ritual to improve communication. How To Communicate Effectively
4. Pray together. If you're comfortable talking about it, discuss what you pray about.
5. Do the wonder intimacy exercise. Free associate and list sentences starting with "I wonder" on a piece of paper. (I wonder if I'll ever learn to cook. I wonder if I'll ever cook for you. I wonder if I could love you more than I do.) Take turns reading your wonders to your partner, without judging, commenting or analyzing. This may feel silly at first, but just try it and see what happens.
6. Do the nostalgic memory exercise. Pick a shared memory from "the honeymoon period" of your relationship. Discuss the memory and take turns talking about a) sensory memories (sights, sounds, smells) b) what you were thinking and c) what you were feeling.
7. Set time aside every day for mutual silence.
8. Accept her apology. If you've been fighting, and she makes an attempt to reconcile, don't rebuff her.
9. If she holds a notable position in her field (or even if not) remind her of how awesome she is at her job and how it intensifies your amazement of her.
Romantic Suggestions for Couples
10. Pet Names. Sure, you can call each other baby, boo, or schmoopy, but coming up with a nickname only you two get is cute and provides a little laugh. Studies have shown that nicknames are a sign of a strong relationship.
Speak
11. Say something positive—anything at all. Researchers have found that happy couples have a ratio of five positive comments to each negative comment.
12. Think of one quirky thing she does that you love and tell her about it.
13. Ask him what he was like when he was a little kid.
14. Tell him he looks sexy in that shirt (pants, shorts, insert the appropriate item of clothing).
15. Compliment something that he's improved upon.
16. Tell him he makes you a better person, and then tell him how.
